On my way back from canoeing with my Chi Alpha friends today I had some music on my phone playing and the song ‘holding nothing back’ by Ryan Stevenson came on. I was jamming out to it. Fully singing the lyrics not really paying attention to the lyrics. Have you noticed how many lyrics you sing but don’t pay attention to the meaning? I realized that today. As I was singing this song, fully knowing all of the lyrics I started to actually pay attention to the song. It went like this, ‘I’m holding nothing back from you, it doesn’t really matter what I loose. For a heart that’s open, I’m broken, and I want you to know. Jesus, I don’t want anything coming in between you and me. Jesus, it doesn’t matter what I have to go through. I’m holding nothing back from you. Nothing back from you.’
Again, I was singing the lyrics, obviously knew them but I didn’t KNOW (in my heart) them. It got me thinking about the lyrics. Thinking of the meaning in the words. For me, this is hard for me. It’s hard to be open with The Lord. I feel like being a Christian I have placed this standard for myself. And to live up to that perfect standard I have set for myself anything less makes me unworthy. The Lord is the worthy one so I tend to want to hide from him, kind of like Adam and Eve after they ate the forbidden fruit and they saw themselves as naked. I try to hide myself from Him, while he still knows all that is going in, and then I stress myself out about it. We as Christians and followers of Christ we should be open with him as we should be with our fellow brother and sisters of Christ. We Gould have a heart that is open because obviously we are already broken. When we let these standards and whatever else that is keeping you from Christ then to get back to him you must break down those walls/barriers I am slowly workin on these barriers that I have built between The Lord an me. Most of them are ones that I have torn down multiple times and I keep rebuilding them. I’m a Christian but I am also human. I make mistakes and I’m not perfect, but I am loved and adored by a perfect God!