Hello ladies (for those doing the Made To Crave Online Bible Study.
and for those that have NO clue what this is, it is an online bible study, studying the book Made To Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It is through the Proverbs 31 page. The study is from January 19-March 1. Join over 35,000 women in studying God’s word and growing closer to God together.
I grew up in church. I was born and raised through a little baptist church in my hometown. I love my church family, and am super close to everybody there. When I was in the 8th grade I went through a little (big) rough/dark patch in my life, as most of us do. My parents were divorced, I lived with my mom, and special needs brother. My dad and mom fought constantly, I had a lot of standards that I set for myself that I needed to live up to, and I fell directly into the devil’s trap.
The devil sure did try to make everything seem like it was against me, and I believed every little lie that he told me. Including, I wasn’t pretty enough, I would never measure up to my parent’s standards, I was worthless, I was fat, I was mean, I was not loved…and the lies just kept coming. They overwhelmed my thoughts and I fell into a deep downward spiral. Cutting myself, starving myself, throwing up what I did eat, and drinking started to become and everyday thing. I was being torn, and was about to hit rock bottom.
When rock bottom was in plain sight (right before my senior year started), my home church (which I currently wasn’t attending, actually I wasn’t going anywhere) hired new youth pastors. They happened to be my cousins and have always gone to my home church, so they generally knew me. I saw them at the football game one friday night and had all intentions of walking past and not saying a word, since I knew they took over the youth pastor position. I didn’t want to have to answer to why I wasn’t going to church anywhere. Fortunately, their two young daughters spotted me before I could dash by, and I of course had to stop and talk with the two precious girls. Which resulted in talking with the new youth pastors. They informed me that they were the new youth pastors at my church, and kindly invited me to come back. I told them I would see, nodded my head, said goodbye and ran away as quickly as I could.
The next sunday I ended up coming back to church to try it out. I surprisingly liked it and decided to keep coming back. It was becoming a place that I was happy to go to, and happy to see friends at, but I was still really deep in all of the horrible things I had started years before. My youth pastors invited me over for dinner. We went out and had a nice dinner, came back to their house where we talked for a little bit, and shortly after they cut right to the chase, asking me “Is everything okay?” and “What is going on?” since they didn’t buy that I was doing great and had no worries. I instantly broke down and told them most of what all was happening. They both shared some of their stories, gave me some advice, prayed with me, and assured that they were here for me if I ever needed them.
It was such a comfort to have people that KNEW what was going on, still loved me, and was there to talk when I needed them. I began to feel at ease about life in general, and even started to cut back on everything that I had been doing that wasn’t good. I was starting to live life again, with Christ in it, and with joy. It was like a fresh start. That next summer (right before starting my first semester at college) I attended youth camp with my youth group and spent the whole weekend absolutely broken. Broken because of my sin that I was still some what dealing with, and broken because I hadn’t been living my life like I had been. The whole week was spent with soggy tears, and blurry vision, but it was completely worth it.
I started my first semester off at college with a mindset of getting into an awesome christian organization, and starting the semester off right so there was no time for falling back into old habits. The semester and the next flew by, I messed up a few times, but overall I did extremely well. I was surrounded by christian friends with a christian organization called Chi Alpha (XA). I was so blessed to have such amazing friends who wanted to all share the same passion for our Lord.
I couldn’t have planned all of that out better than the Lord did. He sent certain people, at specific times, for special times in my life, knowing I would need them! I wish I could have the words to describe the blessings, and how I feel about them all.
Thank you for reading, and can’t wait to start the MTC OBS!
If you haven’t signed up yet, it is NOT too late! Go sign up and join the group!